The key to my happiness (drunken stupor) is this little doohickey. Yeah yeah, i know i said “doohickey”.
$9.99 / Perpetual Kid
<Purchased> I wish all keys could open bottles of booze.
From the website:
“This bear needs his mouth washed out with soap! He looks like the perfect cuddly toy to send home with your child or give to a loved one. Unfortunately, due to a small error in design, his chip says “Eat sh*t and die, mother f*cker”, “Nobody loves you, everybody hates you, go f*ck yourself”, “Hey D*ckhead, what’re you, some kind of pervert, gotta touch teddy bears?”, and more. He isn’t appropriate for children, but you know the value of a swear word or two.”
All children deserves a teddy bear that hates them, myself included.
$17.99 / EntertainmentEarth.com